How could we imagine that Vanessa would end her life, only 2 months after giving birth to her daughter Jade? We often talk about the famous Baby Blues , but we should be warned about Severe Postpartum Depression . This illness is not simply a result of a hormonal drop, but a real pathology that requires medical and psychological, even psychiatric, monitoring. In this article, I share with you a very personal story, hoping that it will make you aware of the extremely fragile situation in which a young mother can find herself.
Background for Severe Postpartum Depression
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I met Vanessa at university, a beautiful and ivory coast whatsapp number data 5 million intelligent young woman, brilliant even. By far the best in the class. At first glance, she seemed sure of herself, even a little haughty. And yet, I quickly discovered her great fragility . A perfectionist, to a pathological point, she always doubted herself, felt incapable of succeeding. She even attempted suicide at the beginning of the year, unable to let go of the pressure she was putting on herself. Fortunately, that day, she called the firefighters within minutes of her gesture
From then on, I never let go of her. I called her almost every day and regularly insisted that she could call me, at any time of the day or night, if she was not feeling well. She started an antidepressant treatment . On the surface, it worked, but deep down, it was always the same, because as soon as she reduced them, her dark thoughts returned. After college, each of us found work in our home region. We still called each other very regularly, her morale was always variable in the face of the pressure of her work.
Then she met the man of her life, the one who helped her
regain her self-confidence, who supported her when things weren’t going well and made her smile again. From that moment on, I didn’t worry about her anymore. They had lots of plans: building their house, having a child, changing jobs…
She got pregnant and the pregnancy made her radiant. She exuded happiness. Blinded by this turnaround, I did not imagine for a second that she would suffer from severe postpartum depression .
The Trigger for Severe Postpartum Depression
In June 2017, Jade was born, she made her parents happy. Vanessa was radiant, she had never been so happy. I myself gave birth to a little girl a month earlier, we shared our happiness.
At the beginning of July, she called me and I could tell she
wasn’t feeling well. I even asked her if how to create a list of phone numbers targeted she wasn’t having dark thoughts and she admitted that “yes, a little”. So convinced that a child was an incredible extra reason to live, I couldn’t imagine for a moment that she was really thinking about taking action. Instead of putting myself in her shoes, I reasoned based on my experience with my first child. I told her that it was normal, that it was fatigue and that in 2 or 3 months everything would be better.
I offered to give her a topponcino (a small mattress on which the baby sleeps, even in our arms, so that we can put him down without waking him up thanks to the conservation of heat and our smell). She refused and, stupidly, I got upset, I acted as if nothing had happened, but I didn’t hear from her again for a month. When I called her back, I didn’t get a response. Worried about seeing her phone cut off, I sent her an email. A few days later, it was her brother who answered me to tell me she had died .
From there, many things took on a different meaning. Notably this refused gift. Her family told me that Vanessa fell into a deep depression after accidentally dropping her daughter from the nursing pillow. Convinced that she was a bad mother, a danger to her child and filled with shame, she hid this fall from everyone close to her. I am almost convinced that if I had listened to her more, she would have told me about it.
Young Mother’s Suicide: When the Unthinkable Happens
I was blind to the distress of my friend, whom I knew so well. I can’t imagine the suffering she must have felt, convinced that she was a danger to her child. A mother’s love for her baby is so immense, her pain must have been equal to this unconditional love.
Her partner was a support throughout this depression , he prevented her from acting out several times. She was even hospitalized due to the seriousness of the situation. And yet, despite her history and all the alarming signs that the doctors were able to see, she was allowed to leave, without treatment. With simple support from the PMI, which was scheduled 1 month after her discharge from the hospital.
This follow-up gave rise to a new anxiety :
the idea of having her daughter taken away from her. A week after leaving the hospital, she took her own life. This is incomprehensible for someone who does not know severe postpartum depression . Some of you may even think that this gesture is selfish… be careful not to have this type of prejudice: she suffered her illness , she did not choose to die like one chooses to go on vacation.
As you can see, almost 1 year after his death, I can’t help but rewrite history. I feel guilty about what I didn’t see, didn’t hear, didn’t do, even though deep down, I know that I couldn’t have changed anything.
If you notice a mother in this situation, encourage her to consult quickly, alert those around her and be there for her.
Vanessa’s family is aware of this article and will read you in the comments, do not hesitate to send them your messages of support . Also know that Jade is doing well, she is a little girl full of life and smiling. If you have a similar experience to hers, do not hesitate to pass on your advice to help her grow with the weight of her story, without blaming her mother…Did you know that the creators of Google started their schooling in a Montessori school ? Just like the founders of Amazon, Wikipedia, and many other lesser-known ones. At first glance, the relationship between the entrepreneurial spirit and the Montessori method may seem confusing. And yet, it is during their early years that children build the foundations of their personality. Find out right away how your child can acquire the entrepreneurial mindset before the age of 6, with the principles of Maria Montessori .
Developing self-confidence: the basis of the Montessori method
Free choice
The Montessori method is based on the development of self-esteem in children, in particular through free choice. Indeed, in a Montessori classroom , each material is a unique copy and available on shelves. The child chooses alone what he wants to work on, therefore, he is not subject to the adult and develops his creativity, his self-confidence.
Free choice can also be implemented at home
We can place activities, in limited chine directory numbers, on a shelf and rotate them. But also in everyday life, by letting our child choose his outfit, a book… At first, he has difficulty making a choice, to help him (and avoid him ending up in shorts in winter), we offer him to choose between 2 outfits. In this way, the child feels listened to, valued, and his self-esteem increases. And the more he has confidence in himself, the more he will feel capable and autonomous.
